Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
