i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
