since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
