Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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