My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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