So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
