you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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