Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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