how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
