I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
