Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize