If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize