You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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