It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
