My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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