yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
