I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
