Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
