Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
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Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
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I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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