It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
