Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
No subtext here. People are naked.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
