so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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