he wants to bone in the snuggie
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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