I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
