i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
