Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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