she woke up with a sticky ear
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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