her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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