it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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