I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
