she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
