I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize