I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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