hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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