I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
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okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
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I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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