No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
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he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
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Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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