"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I look better un-naked...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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