i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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