i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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