A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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