I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize