Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize
