i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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