it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
No subtext here. People are naked.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Randomize
