Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
