My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
