We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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