why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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