2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
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In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
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Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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