Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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