I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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