i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
