Do you still have your period?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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