Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
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You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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