I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
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Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
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You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
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