I got chris browned last night
Duck Duck Cougar?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Found the puke drawer
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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