she takes plan B like it's going out of style
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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